You know the feeling of wanting something so badly but you know there's a huge price to pay for it at the same time? It sucks! I weally weally weally am looking forward to packing my bags and head over to the states but instantaneously, oh how my heart dreads to leave my family and friends in this absurd place. If I could, I would have all of em transported over with me. If I could.
And to be honest, time is running out. I have to gear myself into preparing documents and visas and whatnot all sort of other shits.
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At times, I get so worn out, my mind block things out and I act as if nothing will change or about to. Its gifted. Pffttt!
I am just in a state of mixed emotions. Leaving to a country that takes up to approx 22 hours? Gee. That doesn't sound all that bad, huh? Beats me. I haven't got the faintest idea.
Sometimes I wondered, is chasing own's dream more important than being with family or otherwise. Knowing life could just end in a split second makes things much harder. So much harder to be left behind. Not knowing/ having a proper assurance that everything will be okay.
I'm terrified.
when are u headin off?? and where in the states?
ReplyDeletelawrence! i oughta award u sth for being such a faithful and active commentor for reading a blog thats' so depressing. aahha
ReplyDeleteum this july/august? not sure where yet. but will prolly be in florida or ny. =)
yes, 1 award plz.
ReplyDeletewow, kool. how long are u there for? never see u online no more...i shall visit hopefully. would love to run the NY marathon. Ill pray real hard it's NY. lolzz.
Haha. sure thing. Just lemme see what I can come up with.
ReplyDeleteForever. Hopefully. lol. Yeah! my msn is acting like a biatch towards me. requiring me to Update stuffs but even after hours of updates, it is not working!
Yeh., Hopefully! If ur prayers come true, you had better come and do that running! lol