Monday, September 26, 2011

Easy come easy go

So I wrote a piece of essay for my Communication class. and, this is what my friend has got to say upon reading it during the peer review. You fall in love easily, the time to bloody get out of it is that short too.
(I will attach my essay at the end of this post)

Anyway, it had me thinking, could it be possibly true of what he said? I don't know. You know how it works with me? Its the moment when sparks is being set off, the first glance or first conversation that draws me to the opposite sex, I could like him in a snap of a finger.

Uh-oh! that spells disaster, no?

Anyway, here's my essay.


First Love


“The course of true love never did run smooth”

-William Shakespeare-

How true is that. It could be merely a sentence but the deep insightful meaning it brings out to each individual has its own distinctive significance. I deciphered love as a journey where there would be boulders blocking your pathway to the future, a steep mountain that requires so much energy and determination of oneself in order to reach its’ peak and an ocean deeper than anything that exist in this face of earth to be explored and conquered.  In a nutshell, love can be a tremendous hassle with a tablespoon of excruciating pain at times but throughout the whole process, there is so much to be gained from the experience. 

It was a beautiful day and in need of a break from my taxing research papers, and so I decided to head over to the park next to my apartment. As I descended the walkway (in my newly bought pale brown sundress that has beautiful handmade colorful beads sewn on the dress that accentuated my light skinned tone with my rosy cheeks) comprised of random shapes of naturally flat cut of a few types of stones; shale, granites and sandstone elegantly arranged into a fitted pattern that accommodates the natural pacing of human traffic, a picturesque sight that took my breath away. There were rows and rows of daffodils that shone like the stars in our milky way, stretching almost in a never-ending line tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

As I stood before the majestic view in front of me, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and as I turned my head, I slipped and fell, real hard on my behind you could even hear the thud. Then, that was when I’ve heard the sweetest yet husky voice and it felt like the twinkle in my eyes when my daddy first bought me my Barbie doll set. I squinted my eyes against the raging sunrays to look at my savior; the prince charming that has come to save me. He had dark brown wavy hair, blue eyes that glistened in the light like a halo, smelled of amberwood; musk, sandalwood and amber type fragrance that was very well balanced it somewhat reminded me of classic mans’ type of cologne from Royal Copenhagen and at least 6 feet 1 with a body of Ryan Reynolds. We stared at each other momentarily, I felt his gaze, felt it through the arteries in my body, the weakness in my knees.

I was in love.

I allowed my small palms to fit into his larger ones perfectly like it was the missing puzzle. The rush of warm blood filled my brain and kicks start it. I thanked him. He then introduced himself as Adam, a senior in RMIT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. He further explained that he saw me from afar and he had to come say hi. I was so awed by his straight-forwardness and got swept off my feet for the second time by this guy within minutes. After an awkward silence, he said, “Yup, it’s definitely your turn to introduce yourself” and gave me a cheeky smile. I blushed furiously into a tomato-red color and finally introduced myself and elucidated that I was here only for a semester to finish up my subjects and will be heading back to Malaysia.

We walked for a while and things went really smoothly because we were chatting away realizing we shared so much in common. You ought to see the look on his face when I told him I am a huge fan of online shooting games. We didn’t know how fast the time passed by until it was nearly pitch dark. I was way behind my assignment’s schedule, yet, reluctant to be a second apart from Adam. I told him I had to leave, he asked for my digits and offered to walk me home. As we reached my doorstep, he gave me a soft peck on my cheek and bid goodbye. I nearly stumbled on the mat while doing my victory dance the moment I closed the door behind me.

After that, we went out for a couple of times and both Adam and I knew this strange connection we had have to call for something. He proposed that we get into a relationship. I told Adam of my worries that I would be leaving Australia this year-end and I’m doubtful that this will work between us. He persistently (with fiery determination and sincerity) tried convincing me that we have what it takes to get past through whatever obstacles we were presented with. I believed him. We got into a relationship. A serious one, as I thought we did. I had my heart, soul and feelings invested into this because I figured Adam was the one, considering from how things are going. We did almost everything together. He would come by and walk me to my classes, meet me for lunches and sometimes cook for me. He even brought me gorgeous bouquet of flowers at times and took me out for picnics. The most vivid incident I could certainly remember was this magnificent poem he recited from his literature class.

Time is too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is eternity

-Henry Van Dyke-

Eventually, we got to know each other’s friends and started hanging out a lot. They called us the Golden Couple. Oh yea, we did have some arguments, but it was so miniscule it was insignificant. We were inseparable.

That was 6months ago. Things took a fall real badly after summer. It was my last month here. The arguments took place every now and then; we didn’t even bother seeing each other that often anymore. He started to pick fights with me despite the non-relevance of the issue. Not favoring the situation, my finals were nearing, my hormones racing wild resulting in limited patience and the temper of a sick grumpy old lady. However, I constantly reminded myself things would get better and it would go back to normal, so I forced myself to bear with it.

Until one fine afternoon, on my way to the library, I saw this familiar silhouette. I blinked to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating. Then I blinked again thinking that if I actually blinked hard enough, the image would just erase itself from my mind. There, sitting at the study table in one of those dodgy corners where students make-out, was Adam and some skinny blonde girl in skimpy outfit, holding hands in the center of the table. I was spiraling down the hole of doom being sucked into a vacuum space.

I couldn’t contain the tears no more. All the fights we had and that horrible image that I bet would be stuck in there for God-knows how many umpteenth years came smashing into the screen of my brain acting as the trigger to the valve of my teardrops. I forgot about the book I have got to return and sped outside not wanting anyone to realize I was crying. Not wanting him to watch me cry. I cried the entire journey back home. I couldn’t believe how Adam, my Adam could possibly do this to me. I kept replaying the images of them happily chattering away in that corner. We used to be like that; Adam and I. We used to. I got home, told myself that I have got to straighten myself up and start from scratch because crying and howling like a wolf in pain is just not going to do me any good. I then cried more and showered. After a warm bath, I felt more at ease. I dialed up Adam’s number, gave him a good hell of a yelling, and more yelling, along with horrible loud sobs to show him the damage and agonizing pain he had caused me. The saddest part was that he didn’t even bother defending himself. All he could muster out was a thousand of sorry. I did a little more yelling telling him how much of a jerk he was and told him to back off and never to step into my life ever again. With that, I hung up. 

That day was indeed that last I’ve heard and seen of him. We actually did bump into one another on campus but I pretended I never saw him and strolled along. The scar was fresh so it still does hurt occasionally but I put on a mask of bravery and got on with my life. It was the first time I fell in love, also the worst broke up ever. I hated him for what he had done but I know, this anger and hatred won’t do any good to me. Not to mention, I learned a very valuable lesson here too.  I told myself that I would have to choose my partner as wisely as possible because my heart is too fragile and I must safeguard it. Also, this fall has made me a stronger and a tougher girl to handle any more difficulties in case life decides to throw more at me. But hey, at least, I could tell people that I have been in love.

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