closure

Things have been happening lately. My dad, and my ex. Its devastating, but its life. You have to move on. You  wish you could stop right there at that moment, and just take a breathe and figure out what the eff just happened. But no, neither seconds nor minutes will stop and wait for you.

You take a needle and a thread, sew your own heart, you mend your pain. No pain killers, no anesthetic, no surgeons to do this for you because it is your personal wound. No one but yourself can do this.

My heart tore open when I saw my dad sitting in the hospital lacking of the energy, and my heart tore open when he called and said he moved on and that I should do the same. The thin outer skin of my heart is connected by this small piece of skin that looks like its about to tear real soon.

I took the needle, and stitched it up myself, ignoring the pain, crying myself to sleep after the process. Its a long and excruciating process, but a necessity.

Post-op,
The pain is still there. Milder, but still there. As time goes by, there will be no more pain. Only a superficial scar. Ugly, but its there to remind you what you went through, and you were strong to have gone through those steps.

Right now, I am in the post-op.